imaginelarrys:

stylinsmut:

im a hostess at a restaurant and my favorite thing to do is ask 14/15 year old boys who are out on dates if they want a kids menu 

i love you

(via a-talent-for-wrongness)

h0odrich:

I wanna jump off a building and not die just relieve stress by slamming onto the sidewalk and then get up and go get a slurpee or something

(via littlebitoddish)

craplos:

ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.

(via expertcosmotips)

fartgallery:

I hope when I grow old I die from natural causes, such as a lightning bolt striking a tree which then falls and crushes my entire body or a cheetah ripping out my jugular and feeding on my lifeless carcass

(via thatshitaintpunk)

condommodel:

i feel like its time for science to make a pillow that stays cold

(via thatshitaintpunk)

gothlolita:

reason s to date me

• i have at least ten money saved up in the  bank, can buy chicken nugget
• i am very popular in nintendogs
• i have a dog and its okay if you ignore me just to play wit h the dog because i will probably do that too
• macaroni and cheese
•      i 

(via gerardweigh)

chris-swagmethefuckout:

unicornmunch:

here’s a list of what i’d like to do with you:

• hug
• go on walks while holding hands
• smile
• kiss
• cuddle
• have cute little dates
• have movie nights
• take adorable pictures
• go new places
• try new things
• fall in love
• brutally fuck you
• look at the stars
• do everything i was ever scared to do alone.

😏😘

(via secretlyaperson)