do you ever want to slap yourself in the face because you know you should be doing something productive but instead you choose to sit in front of a laptop for hours on end doing shit that has no beneficial impact on your life and this just happens day after day after day and still you refuse to accept the fact that you have a problem
(via joe-trohman)
- god: hey baby
- god: did it hurt
- god: when you fell from heaven?
- satan: you're a fucking dick
- police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!
- me: not with that attitude
One man is dead and another hospitalized after a bizarre assault off Miami’s MacArthur Causeway reportedly forced a police officer to open fire. The officer approached and saw that the naked man was actually chewing the other man’s head, according to witnesses. The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him. The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots. According to CBS Miami, police sources said the victim had “virtually no face” and was unrecognizable.
the zombies….they’re…here….
Seriously what is in the water in Florida?!
(via docta-satan)
- Benefits when you're cute: More people notice you, more people talk to you, people listen to you, you get jobs easier, you get dates easier, it's easier to get into a relationship, people text you back faster, you get more followers, you get on those fuckyeah sites faster, you feel better about yourself.
- Benefits when you're ugly: you don't get raped.
if you ever feel like you’ve been an asshole to someone
always remember
you’ll never be as much of an asshole as mikey way
to any of my followers that find me intimidating:
- I’m more scared of you than you are of me.
(Source: noctos, via thisaintaroomfullofsuicide)
- satan: let there be wifi passwords
- satan: let there be calories
- satan: let there be post limit
- satan: let there be swag
All my bones are dust.
